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Post by sybaris on Sept 4, 2020 22:25:24 GMT
Scum and Villany 0 vs 2 Twenty-Two Tits
It's not rare that nuffle decides the outcome of a match, but it is quite rare that both players agrees upon it!
In this case, the goblins definitely should have won this on a normal day. They wounded 4 amazons and KO'ed one (which stayed for a good long while). Nobbla Blackwart decided that it was his biggest match of the year, staying live and kicking well onto the 2nd half and causing a hell of a carnage. It ended the right way: he KO'ed himself out of the game.
But there was one thing going for the amazons...and no it's not boobies. Their Block Dice were completely loaded and they got almost 3 times as many POWs as Skulls overall.
One massive stymie was slapped onto the Scums face when one of the rare Amazon knocked out bounced the ball right into the hands of another girl in the middle of a ruck. Perfect scatter with a Flat 6 catch. She was pushed toward the goal and scored for a defensive TD.
Personally, if i had rolled normal dice, with the violence that struck the tits early on, there's just no way i could have won this.
The only thing that went the Villains way is that the amazons got only 1 casualty out of a plethora of glory rolls. Again, anyone facing this normally would have had a wrecked team at the end (especially stunties). Such were the odds, but so is Nuffle's way meaning that Scum and Villany has walked out of this unscathed. Only two of the tits (that's 1 player unless you are really mean) are MNG.
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selfy
Star Player
Wessex Dork
Posts: 707
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Post by selfy on Sept 6, 2020 9:27:30 GMT
I hereby, do verily announce, that on this fine 6th day, in the month of September, at exactly 7 minutes past the hour of 10, in the 2020th year of our Lord that a Blood Bowl game hath taken place in the 3rd round of the competition that is colloquially known as the Selfy Appreciation Cup, which shall be forthwith known as SAC.
Further to this announcement, it is my duty to dutifully announce, with great pleasure and joyus merrymaking that the score of said encounter, after the full 16 turns of regulation play, was confirmed by league statisticians to be as follows:
Fighting Wessex Wyverns (Selfy_74) 2-0 (Wilgut Spleens) Spleens Old Boys
Please accept this announcement as confirmation of the said result, that being the game played recently at the time and date stated above, between Selfy_74 and Wilgut Spleens. All stakeholders and interested parties, that being not limited to Selfy_74 and Wilgut Spllens, would greatly appreciate the insertion of said result, that being the game played recently at the time and date stated above, between Selfy_74 and Wilgut Spleens, into the annals of league history and tables.
It is with greatest pleasure that I can confirm this announcement complete and acceptable under league guidelines and statute.
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valis
Global Moderator
Posts: 993
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Post by valis on Sept 6, 2020 11:17:23 GMT
Come again?
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Post by haugster on Sept 6, 2020 19:39:26 GMT
Og's Orc Vomit battled it out against Haugster's Loyalty today. The elves had brought their dancing shoes to the first half which they won 2 to 0. The second half saw an endless sea of failed pickups, knockdowns of ball carriers and much ball scattering. neither team could do anything more of use, so the elves won with the first half result.
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Post by nearly on Sept 6, 2020 22:01:34 GMT
C.I.E.D 2 - 1 C.U.N.T
Two very different halves.
Dodgers received and performed a run of the mill break through and stall before scoring in turn eight. The most notable event in the first half was a Craw taking the name of Nuffle in vain (which is the only way to explain what happened in the second half).
With the half pints receiving, they were caught sleeping at the kick off and the lizards were able to get within licking distance of the ball. Clumsy gobbos meant that they were never going to get the upper hand/claw in a 4 vs 4 tussle on the goal line and a turn 11 touchdown set up a 2-0 lead.
It looked like Craw had really upset the fate, when the kick off landed just over the touchline with only a goblin and a snot in range to defend it against 3 sauri. Sure enough, moving fungus was no defence against angry crocs and pretty soon they had four tacklezones on the ball. What happened next was as if Craw rammed a giant squigsage up Nuffle’s jaxxy without even spitting on it first. Somehow managing to push the ball free away from the lizards, a bouncy little fucker grabbed the pigskin and hared down the wing leaving the overcommitted lizards scrambling to put up a defensive line. A mass of annoying little scraps stopped the scaley ones getting back in enough numbers to defend and the ball and carrier bounced over the line to score on turn 16.
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booncabal
Moderator
Nuwanda the EVERLIVING, King of all.
Posts: 985
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Post by booncabal on Sept 8, 2020 11:34:52 GMT
As Nearly says, is as it went.
I had forgotten how fucking annoying KO events are. The 1-turner failed as we couldn't pick up the ball, the second score came about because we couldn't pick up the ball, and only the Boon Cabal Genius(tm) triple push after nearly over committed, let us claw one back against the run of play, the level of ability and the mockery of Nuffle, the saggy clunge-dribbling fuckbag.
I hate lizards.
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Post by haugster on Sept 8, 2020 21:19:13 GMT
Eventful jumping contest in SAC that the Lovers won in the end, but with lots of excitement throughout. The Lovers started with a 3 turn TD with lots of knockdowns on the pirates, but no broken armour. The pirates then received and thought the best thing to do was to kick the lovers in their most beloved parts. It was looking grim. They bashed and stalled for a score in turn 8 after some failed attempts from the lovers to do like they are named to no avail.
Second half the pirates received again, with a one man advantage and also getting the ref, which made things look bleak for the amourously inclined. A seemingly safe placed catcher on the sideline was with blocking help pushed over the sideline though from a leaping lineman and the counter was secured after a fortunate throw in.
Again receiving the Pirates was blitzed and completely offsided from leaping lovers. Then the ball went out of bounds.. Now the lovers was sidelined. The pirates made a break for it but the lovers, now with full confidence that if it is one thing they can do in this old world, it's leaping, leapt back, knocked him over and after some more failed dodges from Beefs pirates, actually managed to pick the ball up, hand it off to a catcher marked by a bear, and run off to score in the last turn.
In the end a good game for the lovers who managed the important rolls in this one. The pirates could easily have won this as the start of the second half looked bleak for the double L's.
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beefburger
Global Moderator
Supreme overlord
Posts: 320
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Post by beefburger on Sept 9, 2020 20:29:56 GMT
Penkoon and I played a 2 all draw.
I was very lucky!
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booncabal
Moderator
Nuwanda the EVERLIVING, King of all.
Posts: 985
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Post by booncabal on Sept 9, 2020 20:32:38 GMT
Greatest. Write up. Ever.
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Post by penkoon on Sept 9, 2020 21:11:32 GMT
Well, I'm still trying to come to terms with the shame of having two players killed by elves. Including a wolf. The only 2 casualties in the match. Both dead. Both failed regen. Against elves! How humiliating. I scored with a golem though, which gained a few style points to make up for some of the embarrassment. And now I have something to spend my mountain of cash on, rather than having to throw some on a bonfire before each match.
RIP Bloody Holly and Stiff Richard. You will be avenged.
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Post by sybaris on Sept 10, 2020 23:24:24 GMT
Silver Stuff (vamps) 0 vs 3 Tits (zons) Gosh that match left me with some remorse. You know it's not fun to wreck a mate's team...let alone when that's a tier 3 team. It's always glorious to scrap a TV 2000+ dorf/chaos/dark elf team, but a brand new vampire team, gees. Sorry smiffums , hope you can scrap things up together. You will get inducement even though they never completely make up. Truth be told, the dice were not all kablooey either, it just applied those 6s to armor and injury rolls. Lastly, if you want to heed a piece of advice from a long-time vamp coach: 1. Get an apothicary!!! They are one of the few (if only) unique advantages that the vamps get. Do not trust that regen for "death" and huge -1 stats. 2. Inducements: get a wizard, and extra apothicaries, few things matter more than keeping those vampires alive for as long as it takes (often 30 matches) for them to become the insane stars we know they can become. Inducing apoths will help you miles more than a star player. Wizards (Luthor is not bad though but then that means you'll face something ugly...make sure you get more than 1 apoth before you get him), combined with your Hypnotic Gaze, will unlock those plays greatly as well. Cheers mate, and take care!
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nobby
Veteran
Prince Chinos
Posts: 445
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Post by nobby on Sept 11, 2020 18:27:12 GMT
vamps are shite.
and about as fun as a tory
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Post by Jakala on Sept 12, 2020 8:00:23 GMT
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booncabal
Moderator
Nuwanda the EVERLIVING, King of all.
Posts: 985
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Post by booncabal on Sept 13, 2020 21:34:53 GMT
Craw's UltraNasty Terrors (Booncabal) 1 v 2 Hunky Spooners (Wilgut Spleens) Craw always knew it would be bad, he said pre-game, "Yer I fink this could be bad". This proved prophetic, particularly when Craw confirmed he was advertising for new waiting staff and chefs in expectation of a proper rumble, "Yer I is looking fer new gobs'n'flings te'replace thems that dies, it'll be a proper rumble"
Sadly, Craw, being a self-made Ogre (he nicked lots of stuff) and a greedy obese cunt to boot, spent almost the entire game on his face or watching the flags. The Big Man was equally fucking useless, and he died, but then remembered he was on a play-for-cash contract and regenerated. The bomber threw two bombs for no effect, and was then injured. Choppin' managed one hit before also exiting the field with his chainsaw up his arse.
The bar staff spent the game running, the starting courses spent it hiding, and the chefs spent it crying - in the first half they did this whilst failing nearly every dodge. Fingerblaster will blast no more gash as he was blasted 3 feet into the ground. He was served post-match to the referee, raw and on a bed of broken teeth with a side of grilled tadger.
Yet, despite the beasting the Crimson Dodger did have it tied 1-1, after leaping and pushing a hooved cunt into the crowd, and they were receiving, and they had a wizard (Little Cockle Mocktoot, the Lightning Kid - a big fan of the Thigh of Snotling glazed with honey) and 8 turns....
It did not go well.
Short kicks, overloaded wings and, frankly, really angry Dwarf cunts with tackle, pummeled us into the granite. No fancy pushing this time, and no armour breaks to speak of.
Craw made some hits, put in a little effort, and then stumbled off at the whistle for his traditional post-match meal, leaving the field littered with broken staff.
The only Dwarf injury was a Hobgob tripping on his way to the EZ at the end.
Spleens rarely put a foot wrong here, and in return we spunked SPP all over his face.
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Post by nearly on Sept 13, 2020 22:01:11 GMT
Caimen Excise Dodgers 2 - 0 Deep Rooted Loyalty
The lizards’ tactic of sabotaging the elven armour before the game worked better than could have been hoped. By the end of the first half , seven elves were off the pitch, five of whom were badly hurt. Despite receiving in the first half, the remaining four elves weren’t able to turn their possession into points and went in one nil down at half time.
Six elves against a full lizard team wasn’t going to prevent a second touchdown in the second half, and were fortunate that it wasn’t three in turn 16.
A proper armour roll Nuffling for Haugster.
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