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Post by nearly on Aug 29, 2020 22:12:13 GMT
Caimen Excise Dodgers 1-0 Hunky Spooners
Close game with neither side able to do much damage to the other.
Spooners attacked in the first half, but couldn’t find a way through the mobile lizard defence. The Dodgers harried the ball carrier aggressively, managing to sack the unfortunate hobgoblin a few times, but unable to turn the confusion into possession.
Second half with the Dodgers in possession, a feint between wings left the raddled stunties floundering and the lizards were able to stall between the weirdy beardies and their end zone before running in a turn 14 touchdown.
Coach rustiness led to plenty of mistakes and surfing on both sides. I called out Nuffle for the shitness of my block dice rolls around turn 4, and from that point on, got lucky on just about everything.
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wilgutspleens
Star Player
I am suffering from prescient nostalgia....the future's not what it used to be
Posts: 864
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Post by wilgutspleens on Aug 30, 2020 6:45:16 GMT
Just as above The Hunky Spooners failed to impress in a lack lustre game of tepid tackles and spawny catches of scatterd balls. With 6 players having a block against a team with no block at all they managed to break armour only 4 times from 42 blocks causing 2 KO's and the only casualty was a failed dodge. The team picked up 6 SSP’s including the MVP! Spanky Munk did gain sure hands but it was a less than sparkling first game of the season with coach Spilgut Weens complaining that the game was "bucking follocks" and his team were a bunch of "cupid stunts, a right wunch of bankers!"
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nobby
Veteran
Prince Chinos
Posts: 445
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Post by nobby on Aug 30, 2020 21:18:07 GMT
Coming out the Casket FC Vs some wessex peasants.
2-1 to the casket.
highlights include a goat forgetting where to stand straight away and almost falling over, julian clary getting killed and regenerating, ivor biggun and dale winton both scoring and one hell of a lot of failed blood lusts second half!
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Post by haugster on Aug 31, 2020 20:43:49 GMT
Well, that was a fumble fest in the Selfy Appreceation Cup. Quite a number of fumbled pick ups and throws meant the match could have gone either way. A bit of luck with injuring the little ones meant the kislev managed to edge it in the end. Good match!
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Post by penkoon on Sept 1, 2020 21:57:04 GMT
Lancashire Loverats (VALIS) 0 v 3 Ghouls Aloud (Penkoon)
Bit of a nuffling for our big blue overlord. The hefty chunk of inducement money supposed to level the playing field all turned out to be crap - the ref refused a bribe and sent a gutter runner off for the first foul of the game, the wizard failed to knock anything over and while the star player shined at times, he also spent too much time KO'd despite the attentions of the bloodweiser babes.
It rather summed it up that early on the apothecary failed to save a dead gutter runner, who then went on to steal the MVP.
It looked promising for the Loverats when they had a perfect defence (1 of 3 in the game) plus landed the kickoff awkwardly adjacent to the halfway line where they could stick tacklezones on it. However, it rapidly turned to shit. The ghouls established an early numbers advantage and used it to continue to beat up on the rats while preventing them from showing off their more dainty skills. By the end they were looking pretty ragged; whoever plays valis next week is very welcome.
Cheers for the game Alan. Hope you're not regretting letting pre-existing fun league teams into the league too much - I think it was the dice rather than the TV difference that did you in.
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Post by Jakala on Sept 1, 2020 22:16:51 GMT
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valis
Global Moderator
Posts: 993
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Post by valis on Sept 2, 2020 6:21:22 GMT
Lancashire Loverats (VALIS) 0 v 3 Ghouls Aloud (Penkoon) Cheers for the game Alan. Hope you're not regretting letting pre-existing fun league teams into the league too much - I think it was the dice rather than the TV difference that did you in. It's only about the fun isn't it? Wasn't it fun? Fun! [sigh!] It was definitely the dice. The inducements should have gone some way to levelling things up; a fouled werewolf here, a lightning-bolted ghoul there. The 1's decided to show themselves at critical times and ruined all of that! My Apo rolling a Dead into another Dead was also rather annoying (the Apo is Dead now too. The rats had a hearty, meat-filled post-game stew). Not to worry. It's only a game. *throws laptop off a cliff*
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nobby
Veteran
Prince Chinos
Posts: 445
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Post by nobby on Sept 2, 2020 23:34:57 GMT
*throws laptop off a cliff* It's a hill ffs!
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nobby
Veteran
Prince Chinos
Posts: 445
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Post by nobby on Sept 2, 2020 23:38:23 GMT
Barry Scott is a cunt.
Nobbled the little shit to the detriment of positioning properly and the arsehole apothecary only went and saved his broken legs!
Also ran in 3 touchdowns somehow.
But that nasty little shit still haunts my dreams a decade later.
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wilgutspleens
Star Player
I am suffering from prescient nostalgia....the future's not what it used to be
Posts: 864
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Post by wilgutspleens on Sept 3, 2020 5:51:00 GMT
"look what it does to this penny!" said Barry Scott after the match, he went on to criticise the state of the Caskets dressing rooms "It was filthy! Even Cilit BANG!(tm) Grime and Stain wouldn't shift the dirt, I will never get these stains out of my chinos"
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valis
Global Moderator
Posts: 993
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Post by valis on Sept 3, 2020 6:15:14 GMT
*throws laptop off a cliff* It's a hill ffs! It's a steep hill.
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Post by smiffums on Sept 4, 2020 16:00:29 GMT
Ska Kings Redux 1 v 2 The Silver Host
Not much luck for Nobby in this game and the vampires take the win. Lots of skulls on both sides but for Nobby they largely came in pairs (for the Yeti no less than 3 times!)
The vampires took advantage in the first half and managed to hold an early 1-0 lead. It looked, however, like the wheels were coming off in the second half as the vampire bloodbags insisted on buggering off for naps. The vampires decided the best course of action was to start waving their AG4 willies around and made a whole load of dodges and marked pick ups to score again late into the 2nd half.
The Ska Kings did manage to pick up a consolation goal at the death of the game but I doubt they felt very consoled by it (especially the Norse lineman Suggs, his self inflicted death making it hard to care).
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nobby
Veteran
Prince Chinos
Posts: 445
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Post by nobby on Sept 4, 2020 16:03:35 GMT
the ska kings belatedly opened their season today.
They soon wished they hadnt, opening with Neville staple taking himself down, the lazy prick then decided to lay on the floor for half of the first half before ending the half the way it begun, taking himself down. Oh and Suggs got himself killed trying to hit someone.
Second half started a lot better with the Ska Kings 2 fans hefting a rock at some thrall and knocking him out before the pointy teethed fuckers somehow got the ball off Baba Luck multiple times despite having not many t hralls to bite on.
The Kings then decided to actually do something with Baba tossing a pass to Vince Walker who ran in a touchdown whislt Aaron Barrett injured a thrall but all too late as the game closed out 2-1 the vamps.
Fuck this game.
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valis
Global Moderator
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Post by valis on Sept 4, 2020 16:18:27 GMT
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selfy
Star Player
Wessex Dork
Posts: 707
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Post by selfy on Sept 4, 2020 16:46:37 GMT
He said ‘This game‘ not ‘your arse‘!
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