selfy
Star Player
Wessex Dork
Posts: 707
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Post by selfy on Jun 28, 2021 18:25:13 GMT
He he he! I loved the bit where the Jim Carrey meme appeared with Selfy written on it! ,"No boos, we don't do the boos!" Hehehe That happened because I subscribed to the channel!
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Post by anchor on Jun 30, 2021 20:22:27 GMT
Hive of Scum & Villainy (anchor) 0-1 Grassgrow Rangers (booncabal)
This is likely to come accross as sour grapes, but I don't give a shit.
Two Treemen on a team that only needs to field a single halfling is fuckin' bullshit.
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valis
Global Moderator
Posts: 993
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Post by valis on Jun 30, 2021 21:16:29 GMT
Yeah, but what happens when they both want to throw the halfling?
They'll rip him in two trying to have their way!
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Post by penkoon on Jun 30, 2021 22:17:54 GMT
H'Elf and Safety vs Short Cut
With a cubic butt-ton of inducement cash to burn, the H'Elfs hired Eldril Hypnogaze, a wizard, an extra apothecary and a double dose of babes! The wandering apothecary was put to good use straight away saving Adverse Camber from an early grave, though he'll still need to take next week off to recover. Eldril spent most of the first half dicking about hypnotising Chorfs and hobgoblins, mainly for the hell of it. Annoyingly I discovered it's possible to hypnotize someone while lying on the floor - I wanted his tackle zone active and foolishly assumed that if I tried to hypnotize someone he would have the decency to stand up first! He got injured shortly after - serves him right.
The H'Elfs received the opening kick-off and went about the tried and trusted strategy of flooding the Chorf backfield with receivers while keeping the ball safe deep in their own backfield. Or rather, they tried to do that, but forgot the bit about keeping the ball safe. Spectacularly misjudging how mobile a break-tackle bull centaur is, Slippery When Wet got punched in the face by Sitting Bull and the ball was loose with players spread all over the pitch. Sending those they could after the ball, it looked for all the world like star Hob Jan the Man II was going to score a defensive TD for Short Cut. However, some elfy BS here, a single-die pow there and somehow Traffic Cone had the ball in space! With no support able to reach to help him out, he just had to leg it as fast as he could on his own. Talking Bull intercepted him for the covering tackle, but with both players wrestled to the ground, Traffic Cone got back up, retrieved the ball and sprinted in for a T7 score.
A riot extended the half by a turn, giving Short Cut a shot at an equaliser but it was snuffed out. 1-0 at the half.
A spectacular kick from Assembly Point (MVP) started the second half with the ball in the very corner square. The H'Elfs attempted to keep the Chorfs deep in their own half and keep pressure on the ball carrier, but in doing so let the game become a bit of a slugfest which didn't really suit them. By T13 the ball was still near the half way line but Short Cut had a clear route to advancing it the rest of the way. At this point, H'Elf and Safety unleashed the worlds most accurate wizard, flattening the cage and KOing the ball-carrier. Some more elf BS and Traffic Cone was able to score his second of the game in T17.
By full time the Chorfs had inflicted 7 casualties, including 3 MNG (a 4th healed by the regular apo), but most of those came in garbage time with the game already gone.
Final score 2-0 H'Elf and Safety.
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Post by nearly on Jun 30, 2021 22:21:31 GMT
Viral Load 2 - 2 Caimen Excise Dodgers
Jeez, that was a tough game! The Load attacked first half making mincemeat of the opposition and removing a Kroc and a Saurus. But a rash attempt to claim a bounty on the first move of an early turn left the Pestigor ball carrier smeared on the astrogranite and 90% of the Dodgers behind the rotten front line in possession of the ball. A leisurely stroll to the end zone for the scaley team followed leaving the Load with two turns of the first half to equalise. Could they do it? They managed to advance two rancid hunks of mutton within range of the end zone and get the ball to them, but they were worryingly open. Inevitably the ball carrier was immediately sacked, but the ball was gathered by a marking skink who’d already moved. Despite the lizards putting four markers on the only player capable of sacking said skink or reaching the end zone, the goat was somehow able to blitz the ball carrier, dodge out of tackle zones gather the ball and go for it to score the jammiest touchdown I’ve seen in a while.
There was nearly a third touchdown in the first half. Lining up for a scrimmage line push for a OTTD, the lizards realised they’d forgotten how to make this play. Luckily timekeeping errors meant the ref allowed an extra turn, and the lizards were able to position players within scoring distance going into the final turn. Unfortunately the failed the handoff and the half was over.
Going into the second half, could the five sauri and three skinks score against a Load team that whilst definitely not unblemished hadn’t suffered many lost players? Yes, four turns were enough for the Dodgers shimmy to create enough space for a skink run to the end zone.
The question now wasn’t whether three sauri and three skinks keep the Load isolated from scoring for four turns, but would they be able to avoid conceding two? Pestigors flooded the lizard half and scored their equaliser in two turns. The lizards were able to retrieve the ball and hide in their own end zone just out of reach from advancing goats.
A phenomenal result holding on to a point after a real mauling!
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Post by haugster on Jun 30, 2021 22:23:46 GMT
I suck.
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booncabal
Moderator
Nuwanda the EVERLIVING, King of all.
Posts: 985
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Post by booncabal on Jun 30, 2021 23:11:32 GMT
Hive of Scum & Villainy (anchor) 0-1 Grassgrow Rangers (booncabal) This is likely to come accross as sour grapes, but I don't give a shit. Two Treemen on a team that only needs to field a single halfling is fuckin' bullshit. Actually it does read like the rant of a sour cunt. I had to spend cash as it counts against TV and as you had invited I couldn't buy an ogre then fire him as planned. The game said no. So I blew it on a tree knowing your inducements would increase but intending to let it get clawed by your Troll. If it lasted a turn I'd have been happy. If I was humans I'd have bought a star but you can't buy any as a mix team. Don't see me crying about that though. I even bought a Tree as they're less likely to change a game. I could've got an Ogre. But he went on the line to die. Not my fault your claw MB Troll was thick as fuck and Glutcunt Smashrip was CASd on turn 1. I also had a few flings, not one. I don't play meta and never have. That's why my Tree has nerves of steel not jump up or dodge. Also the rain never stopped, meaning I struggled to move the ball and your wizard helped make it 0-0 at the half. That and the fans KOing my frenzy blitzer on the KO. Yeah that's right, it wasn't a one sided game. I failed the hand-off too, in case you forgot. Yeah you rolled some shit but not enough to lose the game, you had time and enough mutations to move the ball had you not thrown a hissy fit and decided to act like a fucking baby. But calling it bullshit after I was nice enough to forgo most of the half you gave up on is disrespectful as fuck. I thought you were upset about the rolls, which happens. Clearly I was wrong, you thought I was somehow exploiting the game and threw your dummy out your pram, going silent and refusing to play. Wrong as fuck. I couldn't give a fuck about winning this stupid cunting game. I literally couldn't care who wins. I play to throw flings, which I did, and for the craic and the giggles. My time is valuable as fuck to me and my family, I don't have much free time and fitting in BB is a challenge, so fuck you for wasting 90mins of it then unfairly whining like a baby here, souring my mood completely. Yes I am pissed off. Yes I may be over reacting. But like you, at the moment, I couldn't give a shit either.
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valis
Global Moderator
Posts: 993
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Post by valis on Jul 1, 2021 6:02:43 GMT
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Post by overseerlee on Jul 2, 2021 20:51:34 GMT
Dear league commissioners id like to report a technical fault .... Watchtower won 5 - 0 .... please dont validate this game :-) is there a league equivalent of bribing the ref somewhere ? A secret code word maybe ?
It has spurred me on though, Valis can I start a thread called the Funleague Anus of history? I will oversee it and capture our own legendary shitness records for all to marvel at and and aspire to beat ?
I will set the awards and the coaches can send me the replays for me to validate their wild claims, the best of awards will then be there for all to aspire to knock of the throne and will form our own facts to use in the notification ticker tape like the in game loading screen facts ... Did you know the Overseers Creep Show suffered the heaviest loss in funleague history against Watchtowers Ska King Double Skulls in season 28, The record stands at 5-0 ....
Can anyone beat 5-0 ?
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selfy
Star Player
Wessex Dork
Posts: 707
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Post by selfy on Jul 2, 2021 20:55:46 GMT
Dear league commissioners id like to report a technical fault .... Watchtower won 5 - 0 .... please dont validate this game :-) is there a league equivalent of bribing the ref somewhere ? A secret code word maybe ? It has spurred me on though, Valis can I start a thread called the Funleague Anus of history? I will oversee it and capture our own legendary shitness records for all to marvel at and and aspire to beat ? I will set the awards and the coaches can send me the replays for me to validate their wild claims, the best of awards will then be there for all to aspire to knock of the throne and will form our own facts to use in the notification ticker tape like the in game loading screen facts ... Did you know the Overseers Creep Show suffered the heaviest loss in funleague history against Watchtowers Ska King Double Skulls in season 28, The record stands at 5-0 .... Can anyone beat 5-0 ? Mate, I have 5-0 results with the Sneakers that I didn't think were bad results! Anchor definitely beat me 5-0 a couple of seasons ago. I have lost 6-0 before, but not since I've returned to Funleague.
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selfy
Star Player
Wessex Dork
Posts: 707
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Post by selfy on Jul 2, 2021 20:58:35 GMT
Dear league commissioners id like to report a technical fault .... Watchtower won 5 - 0 .... please dont validate this game :-) is there a league equivalent of bribing the ref somewhere ? A secret code word maybe ? It has spurred me on though, Valis can I start a thread called the Funleague Anus of history? I will oversee it and capture our own legendary shitness records for all to marvel at and and aspire to beat ? I will set the awards and the coaches can send me the replays for me to validate their wild claims, the best of awards will then be there for all to aspire to knock of the throne and will form our own facts to use in the notification ticker tape like the in game loading screen facts ... Did you know the Overseers Creep Show suffered the heaviest loss in funleague history against Watchtowers Ska King Double Skulls in season 28, The record stands at 5-0 .... Can anyone beat 5-0 ? Mate, I have 5-0 results with the Sneakers that I didn't think were bad results! Anchor definitely beat me 5-0 a couple of seasons ago. I have lost 6-0 before, but not since I've returned to Funleague. Actually, just checked and it was 5-1. Gimfag scored with a last gasp TTM in turn 16! The rest of the game was piss-fuck poor!
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Post by penkoon on Jul 2, 2021 22:26:00 GMT
Dear league commissioners id like to report a technical fault .... Watchtower won 5 - 0 .... please dont validate this game :-) is there a league equivalent of bribing the ref somewhere ? A secret code word maybe ? It has spurred me on though, Valis can I start a thread called the Funleague Anus of history? I will oversee it and capture our own legendary shitness records for all to marvel at and and aspire to beat ? I will set the awards and the coaches can send me the replays for me to validate their wild claims, the best of awards will then be there for all to aspire to knock of the throne and will form our own facts to use in the notification ticker tape like the in game loading screen facts ... Did you know the Overseers Creep Show suffered the heaviest loss in funleague history against Watchtowers Ska King Double Skulls in season 28, The record stands at 5-0 .... Can anyone beat 5-0 ? Daesh Mortar Pits (bigcarrick) 0-6 [FUN] The new knights (Jakala) That was a result last season. It's probably available on YouTube. Seems worthy to be shoved in your Anus.
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Post by Jakala on Jul 4, 2021 20:59:32 GMT
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Post by anchor on Jul 5, 2021 8:20:21 GMT
Hive of Scum & Villainy (anchor) 0-1 Grassgrow Rangers (booncabal) This is likely to come accross as sour grapes, but I don't give a shit. Two Treemen on a team that only needs to field a single halfling is fuckin' bullshit. Actually it does read like the rant of a sour cunt. I had to spend cash as it counts against TV and as you had invited I couldn't buy an ogre then fire him as planned. The game said no. So I blew it on a tree knowing your inducements would increase but intending to let it get clawed by your Troll. If it lasted a turn I'd have been happy. If I was humans I'd have bought a star but you can't buy any as a mix team. Don't see me crying about that though. I even bought a Tree as they're less likely to change a game. I could've got an Ogre. But he went on the line to die. Not my fault your claw MB Troll was thick as fuck and Glutcunt Smashrip was CASd on turn 1. I also had a few flings, not one. I don't play meta and never have. That's why my Tree has nerves of steel not jump up or dodge. Also the rain never stopped, meaning I struggled to move the ball and your wizard helped make it 0-0 at the half. That and the fans KOing my frenzy blitzer on the KO. Yeah that's right, it wasn't a one sided game. I failed the hand-off too, in case you forgot. Yeah you rolled some shit but not enough to lose the game, you had time and enough mutations to move the ball had you not thrown a hissy fit and decided to act like a fucking baby. But calling it bullshit after I was nice enough to forgo most of the half you gave up on is disrespectful as fuck. I thought you were upset about the rolls, which happens. Clearly I was wrong, you thought I was somehow exploiting the game and threw your dummy out your pram, going silent and refusing to play. Wrong as fuck. I couldn't give a fuck about winning this stupid cunting game. I literally couldn't care who wins. I play to throw flings, which I did, and for the craic and the giggles. My time is valuable as fuck to me and my family, I don't have much free time and fitting in BB is a challenge, so fuck you for wasting 90mins of it then unfairly whining like a baby here, souring my mood completely. Yes I am pissed off. Yes I may be over reacting. But like you, at the moment, I couldn't give a shit either. Yeah, I knew that short rant won't age well. Hopefully no long term hard feelings. Good luck for the rest of the season.
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Post by penkoon on Jul 5, 2021 19:54:37 GMT
Chino Gang (bigcarrick) 0 v 3 I'm Thorin I haven't a Clue (Penkoon)
Bit of a shocker for the Chino gang who couldn't get on the right side of nuffle all match. Too many blood lust turnovers, some self-inflicted by misclicks cost the vamps. The exciting fact that you can hypno gaze without first standing up reared its ugly head again; this time with much worse consequences as by not standing up the vamp couldn't feed and caused a turnover!
Taking advantage of the vamp's misfortune, the dorfs thinned out their numbers and ran in 3 TDs; blitzer Michael Balin (MVP) and both runners Fili Jupitus and Josh Wee-Dickum all getting on the scoresheet.
To rub salt into the wound Count Wladyslaw the Blood Dragon killed himself on a failed dodge, and then inevitably took the MVP - the only SPP the Chino Gang received!
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