selfy
Star Player
Wessex Dork
Posts: 707
|
Post by selfy on Dec 2, 2020 22:51:07 GMT
Thats gotta go on the bounty list right?
if baba luck did then he is as well! That’s not how it works. You only get to go on the list if you’re universally despised. No one has even heard of Sriclaw until today!
|
|
wilgutspleens
Star Player
I am suffering from prescient nostalgia....the future's not what it used to be
Posts: 864
|
Post by wilgutspleens on Dec 3, 2020 8:48:22 GMT
Howlierzz (Boo) 3 V 1 Bastid and the Coontz ( Wilgutspleens ) Not a true Match. To be continued. I had to concede, I am afraid my illness has left me weaker than I thought, I habve never conceded a match in Fun Leahue before but I ended up inA and E so I guess that's excusable.
|
|
wilgutspleens
Star Player
I am suffering from prescient nostalgia....the future's not what it used to be
Posts: 864
|
Post by wilgutspleens on Dec 3, 2020 8:51:52 GMT
!!!News Flash!!! !!!Angry Vomit players discover the ball!!! In today's game against the Dark Elf team, Elfy by Nature, the Vomit scored four touchdowns for the first time ever. Vomit Coach Og the Beautiful was quoted as saying, "I have no idea what happened. In fact I blame those sissy elves. I followed Orc Blood Bowl doctrine and stood on the sideline screaming Kill, Kill, Kill and instead the pansies were playing around with the ball. I would like to apologize to Vomit fans for this embarrassing situation." Vomit fans had some reason to cheer though as they racked up four injuries and two knock outs in spite of all of the focus on scoring. Troll player Splennrot was especially impressive racking up two casualties without ever trying to mess with the ball. Much of the confusion was blamed by team officials on Thrower Morgram who handled the ball most of the game completing two passes and Blitzer Sriclaw who scored all four TDs. The opposing elves managed to score twice whilst performing incredible acrobatic acts throughout the match. Thanks for a great game CharzHeidi. I have been on the wrong side of this sort of game. Glad you had a few positive moments in the game. Cheers. The Vomit has come to life!
|
|
wilgutspleens
Star Player
I am suffering from prescient nostalgia....the future's not what it used to be
Posts: 864
|
Post by wilgutspleens on Dec 3, 2020 8:52:54 GMT
On the edge of forever, where the land meets the sky and the black clouds froth and boil, sits a tavern. Within the tavern great heroes drink, laugh, tell tall tales and regale each other with stories of derring-do; of the time they slew the great lizard king of Txlantos, the time they defeated the Armies of Death on the Plain of Bone, the time they held back the Norse gods from the gates of Infinity. They retire early, as they know that come the morning, they must rise and venture into the evil scar at the boundary of time itself, where noxious fumes bellow forth and the fabric of reality ripples and shifts, bending what is real into what may be. They must sally forth into that foul and noisome underworld and do battle with the minions of evil, to save the day and ensure light prevails. To make certain that the forces of darkness are never allowed to emerge and darken this bright and wholesome land. The sun rises. Weapons are shouldered. Rituals are partaken. Prayers are said. Bravely they ride, with speed, with vigour, with purpose, and with the forces of righteousness by their side. And they are slain terribly. Rendered limb from limb. Blood, bone and brain sprayed far and wide as the minions of evil rupture from the Earth and swarm the heroes, their once proud demeanour shattered with their ignoble passing. And with each band of heroes that dare to cross the dark threshold, with each new slaying, the minions of evil grow bolder, and the rupture to the underworld grows wider. And far off, into the land of light, the stories of horror grow and multiply, the stories of derring-do are forgotten, as the fate of fallen fathers and sons are carried back to their families on tales of terror. And as day turns into night, good people, honest people, turn to each other in the darkness and cling together for comfort, whimpering and whispering….. “The rats…… The rats….. THE RATS!!!” Final Score: Lancashire Loverats 3-2 Caimen Excise Dodgers Now that is a match report! Never mind then stats , think of the prose!
|
|
valis
Global Moderator
Posts: 993
|
Post by valis on Dec 3, 2020 10:37:56 GMT
Howlierzz (Boo) 3 V 1 Bastid and the Coontz ( Wilgutspleens ) Not a true Match. To be continued. I had to concede, I am afraid my illness has left me weaker than I thought, I habve never conceded a match in Fun Leahue before but I ended up inA and E so I guess that's excusable. If stuff like this happens again you will be shot, please do not validate/confirm the match. I can reset the game if you don't confirm it.
|
|
|
Post by boo1964 on Dec 3, 2020 14:52:53 GMT
I had to concede, I am afraid my illness has left me weaker than I thought, I habve never conceded a match in Fun Leahue before but I ended up inA and E so I guess that's excusable. If stuff like this happens again you will be shot, please do not validate/confirm the match. I can reset the game if you don't confirm it. ok, will do
|
|
booncabal
Moderator
Nuwanda the EVERLIVING, King of all.
Posts: 985
|
Post by booncabal on Dec 3, 2020 19:18:13 GMT
I beat DaImp 20-0 and killed his entire team, then I travelled to his home across the globe and stole all his homoerotic home made Blood Bowl scenery, which I gave away to the homeless.
This is all entirely true and in no way a deception to mask a defeat at the hands of a sultry firm breasted vixen WHORE.
|
|
valis
Global Moderator
Posts: 993
|
Post by valis on Dec 3, 2020 19:49:55 GMT
I beat DaImp 20-0 and killed his entire team, then I travelled to his home across the globe and stole all his homoerotic home made Blood Bowl scenery, which I gave away to the homeless. This is all entirely true and in no way a deception to mask a defeat at the hands of a sultry firm breasted vixen WHORE. This match report conjures the memories of Saturday afternoon Stuart Hall on 5 Live.
|
|
|
Post by penkoon on Dec 3, 2020 21:31:21 GMT
Mistress Pain snapped in training How long does she keep doing this for? I've been watching the video mesmerised for several hours now and she's showing no signs of stopping. I keep thinking one of these times she's going to slip up and unzip a little too far, but she seems to have perfected the skill of going far enough to tantalise but not enough to reveal.
|
|
|
Post by penkoon on Dec 3, 2020 21:36:32 GMT
Also 2-1 to the Handsome Sniffers is the final result of the week. Wilgut spent last week killing all my expensive regen players so I only had one troll :-( Tried to induce a second ball and chain to make up for it, but he only lasted 1 turn.
|
|
|
Post by Da Imp on Dec 3, 2020 22:40:19 GMT
Chaos Theory in Practise (boronate) - 1 vs 2 - The Alliance of Light (Da Imp)
The Light continued on their merry way, bringing joy and happiness to homeless children the world over. A cause that Nuffle is clearly a big fan of as he slipped his hairy palms into Lady Luck's pants and jiggled her dice about.
Despite all this love about, the game was a brutal one with something around 7 casualties, a death and 2 sendings off in the game - the casualties largely being inflicted on Chaos Theory as the Light bathed in the protective aura of Nuffle. Despite all this it was Chaos Theory who scored first and went into the half time break 1-0 up. They would be starting the second half with just 9 fit players versus 11 however. A gap the Light saw fit to widen. A few turns of brutality later and both teams were down several players. The Light scored to level matters and would still be able to field a full team at the next kick-off. Chaos Theory were suffering now with a third of their team missing. Despite this they made a good go of snatching a win from this game, but Nuffle was having none of that. A series of spectacular one dice blocks would result in the Light snuffing out any hope Chaos Theory had of a glorious evening, further rubbing insult into injury as they scored the winning TD in the final turn.
Amazingly the Light are now the only team in the entire season to have a 100% record! That truly is a miracle that will warm the hearts of street urchins everywhere.
|
|
|
Post by Da Imp on Dec 3, 2020 22:41:55 GMT
I beat DaImp 20-0 and killed his entire team, then I travelled to his home across the globe and stole all his homoerotic home made Blood Bowl scenery, which I gave away to the homeless. This is all entirely true and in no way a deception to mask a defeat at the hands of a sultry firm breasted vixen WHORE. Mistress Pain says thank you for last night. You were such a good boy, so brave and only soiled yourself once.
|
|
wilgutspleens
Star Player
I am suffering from prescient nostalgia....the future's not what it used to be
Posts: 864
|
Post by wilgutspleens on Dec 6, 2020 19:23:46 GMT
Hunky Spooners (Wilgut Spleens)0 v 3 Fairies with Boots (Beefburger)
Wel I am sure that result has put paid to any silly rumours about the Spooners climbing out of West this season which they were leading on goal,difference alone. Fairies they might be but they do have rather big boots and they are very fast and quite a lot of them are STRONG!
That being said it was a much closer game that the result suggests, especially the first half, where both teams sacked the other and possesion changed hands two or three times in one drive.
Great fun as always against Beefy
|
|
wilgutspleens
Star Player
I am suffering from prescient nostalgia....the future's not what it used to be
Posts: 864
|
Post by wilgutspleens on Dec 7, 2020 7:54:43 GMT
Bastid and the Coonts (Wilgut Spleens) 1-v-2 Handsome Sniffers (Selfy)
1) Coonts kick off and land the ball right up against the ad boards half way into the Sniffers half on their left wing.
2) Trombone Johnson picks up the ball passes it 90 degrees into the crowd who throws it to Chopper McTool who catches it. I didn’t even know a fanatic could hold the ball until this moment. McTool runs to left wing hands off the ball to Chitter Meetits, skink, who runs to within 3 squares of TD
3) Nut Cannon blitzes after two GFI but only succeeds in pushing Meetits nearer the TZ. Meetits scores and levels Chopper McTool and Tik Tok McBoom are sent off. Disgraceful! What kind of referee doesn’t allow chain saws or bombs!
4) Sniifers drive down left wing. Yoghurt Slinger injures Gilbert Greenun
5)Uncle Reamus gets he ball Sniffers make a push through the centre. There is some scrappy bits of fighting Coonts sack Reamus, Lobber Skunge, orc thrower, picks up the ball
7) Sniffers have ball deep in Coonts half but not to worry SpinFest McTanle, fanatic, is there , twirling like a good ‘un, he splats Nut Cannon but then spins straight into Bastid injuring his own captain!
8) Creamy Hunter scoops up the ball, hands off to Trombone Johnson who slides the ball in to level the game 1-1
Second Half
9) Mongo smacks Cocktapus in the kisser injuring the troll who then regenerates. Mongo levels. Trombone Johnson, fouls Boing Boing McBoing injuring the hapless pogoer, referee sees nuffink, yet he certainly saw that chainsaw! Hmmmm, he looks like he comes form Somerset as he has six thumbs.
10) Coonts form a tatty square in Sniffers half, Skunge passes to Meetits. Coonts have 4 injuries and three sent off, so far, their team is shrinking.
11) Creamy Hunter remembers Titchy, which is more than Spleens did and ignoring Flat Splat McTwat sacks Meetits. One Eyed Weasel picks up the ball and is turn taken down by Lobber Skunge. Flt Splat McTwat scoops the ball.
12) McTwat hands off to Skunge who flunks the pass
13)Coonts down to 5 players One Eyed Weasel scops up the ball and runs home for a touchdown.
15)Skunge passes to Meetits-levels Mongo fails a last minute TTM
Games between these two coaches are always grudge matches ful of venom as this exchange form the chat box demonstrates He “OOOOH!” me “haha” he “Hooh hoo!” me “he he he he he he he” he “he he he he he he he” me “he he he he he he he” he “he he he he he he he” me “he he he he he he he” he “ooh close!” me “well done mate” he “thank you”
|
|
selfy
Star Player
Wessex Dork
Posts: 707
|
Post by selfy on Dec 7, 2020 16:12:42 GMT
Bastid and the Coonts (Wilgut Spleens) 1-v-2 Handsome Sniffers (Selfy)
1) Coonts kick off and land the ball right up against the ad boards half way into the Sniffers half on their left wing.
2) Trombone Johnson picks up the ball passes it 90 degrees into the crowd who throws it to Chopper McTool who catches it. I didn’t even know a fanatic could hold the ball until this moment. McTool runs to left wing hands off the ball to Chitter Meetits, skink, who runs to within 3 squares of TD
3) Nut Cannon blitzes after two GFI but only succeeds in pushing Meetits nearer the TZ. Meetits scores and levels Chopper McTool and Tik Tok McBoom are sent off. Disgraceful! What kind of referee doesn’t allow chain saws or bombs!
4) Sniifers drive down left wing. Yoghurt Slinger injures Gilbert Greenun
5)Uncle Reamus gets he ball Sniffers make a push through the centre. There is some scrappy bits of fighting Coonts sack Reamus, Lobber Skunge, orc thrower, picks up the ball
7) Sniffers have ball deep in Coonts half but not to worry SpinFest McTanle, fanatic, is there , twirling like a good ‘un, he splats Nut Cannon but then spins straight into Bastid injuring his own captain!
8) Creamy Hunter scoops up the ball, hands off to Trombone Johnson who slides the ball in to level the game 1-1
Second Half
9) Mongo smacks Cocktapus in the kisser injuring the troll who then regenerates. Mongo levels. Trombone Johnson, fouls Boing Boing McBoing injuring the hapless pogoer, referee sees nuffink, yet he certainly saw that chainsaw! Hmmmm, he looks like he comes form Somerset as he has six thumbs.
10) Coonts form a tatty square in Sniffers half, Skunge passes to Meetits. Coonts have 4 injuries and three sent off, so far, their team is shrinking.
11) Creamy Hunter remembers Titchy, which is more than Spleens did and ignoring Flat Splat McTwat sacks Meetits. One Eyed Weasel picks up the ball and is turn taken down by Lobber Skunge. Flt Splat McTwat scoops the ball.
12) McTwat hands off to Skunge who flunks the pass
13)Coonts down to 5 players One Eyed Weasel scops up the ball and runs home for a touchdown.
15)Skunge passes to Meetits-levels Mongo fails a last minute TTM
Games between these two coaches are always grudge matches ful of venom as this exchange form the chat box demonstrates He “OOOOH!” me “haha” he “Hooh hoo!” me “he he he he he he he” he “he he he he he he he” me “he he he he he he he” he “he he he he he he he” me “he he he he he he he” he “ooh close!” me “well done mate” he “thank you” The only thing I can add to this is that at number 10 when Chitter Meetits was sacked, Spleens used the apothecary on the KO when I wasn't looking and I thought there was a glitch because I could see the ghost of Meetits lying on the turf. It only became apparent that Spleens was trying to pull the wool over my eyes when Trombone Johnson fouled the glitch and revealed it to be an elaborate ruse! Shiver Meetits deserved better because he ended up getting sacked and fouled for no real reason.
|
|