Watchtower
Experienced
Hi I'm Watchtower and I think elves should be deported
Posts: 116
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Post by Watchtower on Feb 14, 2021 15:56:32 GMT
Underworld Sneakers 0-0 Dirty Dozen Watchtower and I just played out probably the most entertaining 0-0 draw I've ever had the fortune to be part of. It was a ridiculous comedy of errors right from the get-go. Both teams repeatedly tried to give the game to the other, but the dice would not comply. The Sneakers reduced the Dirty Dozen to the Dirty Trio but still couldn't punch the ball home. Hell, they could only pick it up when an incomplete pass went to some random player that had already moved! Fortune smiled on the Sneakers by allowing Tentacles to work a gazillion times, but laughed as a Gimfag horns blitz through a million tackle zones came up skulls. Gimfag now sits out the next game, but the crazy little fucker ain't dead. Bro'cut also took a stomp to the head, early doors but survived. Every fucking girl on the pitch was round him, but I have no idea why they didn't do it again! They even had a bribe. Talking of stomps the Sneakers produced some lusty foulage of their own that resulted in multiple take-outs, but the ref was on top of his game and sent several Sneakers to the sin bin. But they were good trades and doubt that the Dirty Dozen can field a dozen women next game! Cheers Watchtower you cunt! Oh and the Sneakers were giving away inducements which seemed a bit odd, can't remember that happening before. But the wizard fizzed and popped but ultimately did sweet-fuck-all and let Watchtower down badly! By far one of the funniest games I've played yet! Cheers Selfy it was fun to play you, hope we have more games against each other. Cheers, Watchtower
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selfy
Star Player
Wessex Dork
Posts: 707
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Post by selfy on Feb 14, 2021 20:58:04 GMT
Oh, I forgot to say that I found the Dancing Pikey in my friends list and he had been online 3 days before, so I messaged the fucker to try and get him back!
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nobby
Veteran
Prince Chinos
Posts: 445
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Post by nobby on Feb 15, 2021 12:43:08 GMT
Oh, I forgot to say that I found the Dancing Pikey in my friends list and he had been online 3 days before, so I messaged the fucker to try and get him back! PIKEYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!
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selfy
Star Player
Wessex Dork
Posts: 707
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Post by selfy on Feb 15, 2021 18:37:51 GMT
Oh, I forgot to say that I found the Dancing Pikey in my friends list and he had been online 3 days before, so I messaged the fucker to try and get him back! PIKEYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!! Yeah, he's not answering me. He's been on since I messaged with no reply. We live in hope.
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booncabal
Moderator
Nuwanda the EVERLIVING, King of all.
Posts: 985
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Post by booncabal on Feb 15, 2021 21:21:46 GMT
Bumbattered into oblivion by nobby. I played most of the game with 3 players. Well, half of it. An early score and kill saw us peak, after that it was pile on mayhem as the Norse spunked blood and shit rage in our grinning toothless drunken Albion faces. It was men v boys. Topless sweaty erect men v tiny, pubeless smackead boys, smashed on bucky, smack and Bugmans superstrength. I'll not walk right for at least two days, such was the fingerjabbing I took to the anus, and gave myself, as I sought something fun from tonight. I'm off to wank into the bin as I ponder my failed life and the fresh miserable low I have reached.
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valis
Global Moderator
Posts: 993
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Post by valis on Feb 15, 2021 21:28:20 GMT
Bumbattered into oblivion by nobby. I played most of the game with 3 players. Well, half of it. An early score and kill saw us peak, after that it was pile on mayhem as the Norse spunked blood and shit rage in our grinning toothless drunken Albion faces. It was men v boys. Topless sweaty erect men v tiny, pubeless smackead boys, smashed on bucky, smack and Bugmans superstrength. I'll not walk right for at least two days, such was the fingerjabbing I took to the anus, and gave myself, as I sought something fun from tonight. I'm off to wank into the bin as I ponder my failed life and the fresh miserable low I have reached. When are you going to tell us something we don't already know?
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nobby
Veteran
Prince Chinos
Posts: 445
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Post by nobby on Feb 15, 2021 21:35:54 GMT
now I just need valis to beat Haugster and da imp to fuck up even more
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booncabal
Moderator
Nuwanda the EVERLIVING, King of all.
Posts: 985
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Post by booncabal on Feb 15, 2021 22:50:16 GMT
Bumbattered into oblivion by nobby. I played most of the game with 3 players. Well, half of it. An early score and kill saw us peak, after that it was pile on mayhem as the Norse spunked blood and shit rageĀ in our grinning toothless drunken Albion faces. It was men v boys. Topless sweaty erect men v tiny, pubeless smackead boys, smashed on bucky, smack and Bugmans superstrength. I'll not walk right for at least two days, such was the fingerjabbing I took to the anus, and gave myself, as I sought something fun from tonight. I'm off to wank into the bin as I ponder my failed life and the fresh miserable low I have reached. When are you going to tell us something we don't already know? I once took a shit in Donna Air's knickers whilst she was wearing them. It's called a Tyneside Silky.
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Post by penkoon on Feb 15, 2021 23:26:09 GMT
Caimen Excise Dodgers (nearly) 1 v 2 Ghouls Aloud (Penkoon)
A remarkably bloodless match after last weeks mayhem. Only a single casualty, though Oatlgor of the Lake will probably be limping the rest of his life thanks to Dead Sheeran (MVP).
Missing two of my best players (bloody Nobby) it was the first match in forever I haven't been up against a ton of inducments. I even had the lower TV but not by enough to get anything for it.
The first half saw the Ghouls receive and they set about a slow cagey drive up the sidelines. They strove to punch a hole in the Caimen line but the lizards kept filling it and preventing the Ghouls making much headway. Eventually, they spotted a gap in T7 and went for it. There was a heart-in-mouth moment when Noel Ghoulagher (filling in as primary ball carrier in Ricky Mort-in's absence) nearly tripped over his feet on the required GFI into the endzone. Thankfully, a reroll was available to help him out and Ghouls Aloud took the lead.
Caimen Excise Dodgers had 2 turns before the break to attempt a quick score back, but Ghouls Aloud were able to do enough to stifle the attempt and maintain their lead into the interval.
The second half saw the Excise Dodgers receive the ball and punch a quick hole down the Ghouls flank. The necros scrambled to cover but couldn't do much more than put a single tackle zone on the ball carrier and another in his way. A couple of blocks later and Oatluax of Chaqua was free to sprint into the endzone and level the scores.
There was still plenty of time left in the match though and Ghouls Aloud set about smashing their way downfield. With Noel Ghoulagher again carrying the ball and supported by his tougher buddies, he ran in the winning score just as time expired.
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Post by nearly on Feb 15, 2021 23:40:10 GMT
Bumbattered into oblivion by nobby. I played most of the game with 3 players. Well, half of it. An early score and kill saw us peak, after that it was pile on mayhem as the Norse spunked blood and shit rage in our grinning toothless drunken Albion faces. It was men v boys. Topless sweaty erect men v tiny, pubeless smackead boys, smashed on bucky, smack and Bugmans superstrength. I'll not walk right for at least two days, such was the fingerjabbing I took to the anus, and gave myself, as I sought something fun from tonight. I'm off to wank into the bin as I ponder my failed life and the fresh miserable low I have reached. Did you actually play a bloodbowl game, or is this an admission that you and Nobby have broken COVID lockdown restrictions?
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Post by penkoon on Feb 15, 2021 23:43:33 GMT
now I just need valis to beat Haugster and da imp to fuck up even more Well, hopefully Da Imp won't fuck up this week.
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selfy
Star Player
Wessex Dork
Posts: 707
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Post by selfy on Feb 16, 2021 17:42:53 GMT
now I just need valis to beat Haugster and da imp to fuck up even more Well, hopefully Da Imp won't fuck up this week. Da Imp doesn't just 'Fuck Up'. This is outrageous slander!
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Post by Da Imp on Feb 16, 2021 21:03:06 GMT
[FUN] The new knights (Jakala) - 1 vs 0 - Blackspine Manticores (DaImp)And the Manticores fuck up! Continuing their downward spiral and sudden complete lack of form, the Blackspine Manticores slumped to a second consecutive defeat. Another tight one it should be noted. Other, more biased, reporters would congratulate coach Jakala on a great game, but not this one! What a shit show that was for the Manticores, displaying play as wet as the pitch the game took place on. And not the good Mistress Pain kind of wet, oh no, this was the dribbling wet that seeps out of your pants after too many curries and several barrels of Bugmans XXXXXX. A score line of 0-0 at halftime really didn't tell the true story of the game. The Knights should have been 1-0 up (but they got greedy chasing casualties and rolled a double skull on turn 8), the Manticores had their chances to turn over the ball, but failed dodges and making a complete hash of their induced wizard meant they didn't grab a break away score. At least the 2 Budweiser Babes came in useful (at halftime and more importantly after the game) to return 3 of the 4 KO'd players to the pitch. In the second half the Manticores had their chances to score, but just couldn't get it together, failing at the critical moment every time an opening presented itself. That resulted in the ball bouncing back and forth between the teams, both sets of players putting pressure on the loose ball before the Knights finally managed to escape with the ball and score the winning TD in turn 15. Come the final whistle an extremely frustrated Manticores team were left wondering just what went wrong. At least for the next game several injured players will return and the TV may even break 1000. So coach, you're sure you want to cast lightning bolt in the middle of your turn?
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selfy
Star Player
Wessex Dork
Posts: 707
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Post by selfy on Feb 16, 2021 21:30:52 GMT
FFS Da Imp, what a let down!
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Post by Jakala on Feb 16, 2021 22:37:31 GMT
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