Post by booncabal on Aug 30, 2020 22:26:31 GMT
Rooting through google drive and I've found a lot of old stuff, so at random here is...a Season 7 Preview...
[FLN] S7, W2 Altdorf UnAssassins v Naggaroth Chill
To be played by next Monday.
The UnAssassins were welcomed into the Fun League by the Heralds of Change in a maelstrom of shredded fur, hacked limbs, and buckets of blood. Count Luthor turned out for the UnAssassins and brought Ramtut to help; he didn’t. 7 casualties later and the rookie UnAssassins had been crushed 3-0. The question now is, will Count Luthor lose interest at this early set back, or accept that his team were always likely to struggle against the Heralds and turn his attention to the equally pale, and much less brutal, Naggaroth Chill? We expect the latter albeit is difficult to see a much different outcome.
The Chill bounced back from their slump to start with an easy 2-0 win over the already struggling Vultures. There two Witch Elves won the plaudits in this game as they ignored the cage of shambling doom to pull off some amazing feats of agility and blocking. The UnAssassins may have showier players than the Vultures but they are lacking in core skills; something the devious exploitative and downright lucky-as-fuck Dark Elves are certain to take full advantage of.
The Seers consulted the shrivelled penis of Nagash to predict a 5-0 Chill win.
[FLN] S7, W2 Da Reservzz v Carnage City Fiends
To be played by next Monday.
Once again these two rival meet. Last season was an entirely expected draw and this season both want to take the points in the hope of preventing the Chill stealing the Cup and taking it to Naggaroth; where it will be melted down and used to make a gold plated bra and knicker-set for Soulsucker.
Da Reservzz opened their account with an uncompromising, if not-entirely convincing, win over the Norse However, with Rikrad missing this match, and many wondering why Grimfang has not been catapulted into the ocean, there will be a huge weight of responsibility on The Wife to bring some pain. However the Wife is utterly unaware of said responsibility or associated pressure, and whilst it might very well tear the Fiends new arseholes, it is just as likely to forget there’s a game. Should the latter arise then it’ll be up to the redoubtable Trash and Grubnash the freak, to win the day.
Another season, another draw for the Fiends as they pummelled the fragile rats from one end of the field to the next but were unable to prevent Tabasco’s outrageous pace. At least they’ll know the Orcs can’t outrun them, and they do enjoy peeling green skin back to reach the gristle below. However, D Reservzz could still outmanoeuvre them and if the Fiends are not careful, this end up in one of those tedious 1-1 grinds. No you say! Never you cry! Well we shall see.
The Seers just rolled some dice; it’s a draw. 1-1.
[FLN] S7, W2 Heralds of Change v Lancashire Lovebombs
To be played by next Monday.
The Lovebombs were stunned last week as they surprisingly fell to Dragonback in a thrilling game. However they emerged relatively unscathed and Jennifer Morgue will be looking to exploit the Herald’s traditional lack of interest in the ball and provide the Wood Elves with a much needed jump-start. Ganymede may look a little fragile these days but he can steal or recover the ball under the most intense pressure; whilst Fuller Memorandum will be eager to add to his opening day double against a team that traditionally leaks scores against agile opposition.
Malagant the Merciful has stated that Fearsum Enjinn’s days will come to a shuddering “timber” end in this match as he intends to slice his roots up, cook them, and feed the to the orphans at the “Save a Treeman” charity home for Treeman Orphans. Following the vicious beatdown handed out last week, the Heralds will be looking to overwhelm the Lovebombs. However, the experienced Lovebombs are a world apart from a team of rookie Necromantics; and it is vital the Changer of Ways’ special ones protect the ball whilst dealing out the pain.
[FLN] S7, W2 Hectors Heroes v Dragonback
To be played by next Monday.
Following on from their amazing week 1 win, Dragonback will be eyeing this match up with greedy beady glassy and slightly dumb goat eyes. Klentock Twohoofs’ star is on the rise, hence his appearance on the Hit List, and in Rammage and Carnage, Dragonback have two fast Goats who can turn the corner and hunt down the ball carrier. The Warriors are still developing but until they meet the Heralds or Fiends, there are no teams in the division that will want to tangle with them; least of all the vulnerable Heroes….then again…
Hector’s Heroes are insane. This insanity is best illustrated by their refusal to wear anything more than the barest of armour coupled with their refusal to duck a fight and willingness to square up to the meanest opposition. Dalkrvor was seen head-butting polar bears in preparation for this game, and the death of Boritson left his self-proclaimed blood-brother, Agnibrandr, enraged and eager to bring some pain. With Eiliffiar’s hip-swivel, high-step, and shoulder barge making him incredibly difficult to stop it may be only attrition will prevent the Norse escaping with a win.
The Seers tasted the yellow snow, which indicated a tight 2-1 win for…..the Heroes.
[FLN] S7, W2 Mousillion Vultures v Crimson Eclipse
To be played by next Monday.
The Vultures once again struggled to hold onto the ball or bring sufficient pain against a flair team meaning the eventual score flattered them. However their squad is unscathed and they’ll be hoping the fresh-furred Eclipse find it harder to dodge and run from their rotting cadaverous grasp. With Jean Claude Van Damned terrified of being overshadowed by the newly buff P’Elvis he will be desperate to find the endzone and ensure the cameras are on him. Le Grande Papa must assert himself in these games as his annoyingly regular ability to end up on his bandaged backside is causing the Vultures no end of problems.
The Eclipse held on against the Fiends; or should we say Tabasco held on for them whilst the rest of the team held on to their lives. They’ll be expecting, rightly so, a much less violent game against the Undead. Tabasco has been rooting around in bins this week, declaring there is no point in training as there isn’t a player on the Vultures squad who can touch him. He is right. And even if the Vultures do, somehow, stop the unstoppable; they have to then stop the unstoppable 2, the return – Thread – another gutterrunner who can score before the Ref has even put his whistle in his pocket. However, if the Eclipse do lose their star runners; it will be interesting to see what other tactics they have…..if any….
The Seers rooted through the warp sewage which foretold a 3-1 Eclipse win.
To be played by next Monday.
The UnAssassins were welcomed into the Fun League by the Heralds of Change in a maelstrom of shredded fur, hacked limbs, and buckets of blood. Count Luthor turned out for the UnAssassins and brought Ramtut to help; he didn’t. 7 casualties later and the rookie UnAssassins had been crushed 3-0. The question now is, will Count Luthor lose interest at this early set back, or accept that his team were always likely to struggle against the Heralds and turn his attention to the equally pale, and much less brutal, Naggaroth Chill? We expect the latter albeit is difficult to see a much different outcome.
The Chill bounced back from their slump to start with an easy 2-0 win over the already struggling Vultures. There two Witch Elves won the plaudits in this game as they ignored the cage of shambling doom to pull off some amazing feats of agility and blocking. The UnAssassins may have showier players than the Vultures but they are lacking in core skills; something the devious exploitative and downright lucky-as-fuck Dark Elves are certain to take full advantage of.
The Seers consulted the shrivelled penis of Nagash to predict a 5-0 Chill win.
[FLN] S7, W2 Da Reservzz v Carnage City Fiends
To be played by next Monday.
Once again these two rival meet. Last season was an entirely expected draw and this season both want to take the points in the hope of preventing the Chill stealing the Cup and taking it to Naggaroth; where it will be melted down and used to make a gold plated bra and knicker-set for Soulsucker.
Da Reservzz opened their account with an uncompromising, if not-entirely convincing, win over the Norse However, with Rikrad missing this match, and many wondering why Grimfang has not been catapulted into the ocean, there will be a huge weight of responsibility on The Wife to bring some pain. However the Wife is utterly unaware of said responsibility or associated pressure, and whilst it might very well tear the Fiends new arseholes, it is just as likely to forget there’s a game. Should the latter arise then it’ll be up to the redoubtable Trash and Grubnash the freak, to win the day.
Another season, another draw for the Fiends as they pummelled the fragile rats from one end of the field to the next but were unable to prevent Tabasco’s outrageous pace. At least they’ll know the Orcs can’t outrun them, and they do enjoy peeling green skin back to reach the gristle below. However, D Reservzz could still outmanoeuvre them and if the Fiends are not careful, this end up in one of those tedious 1-1 grinds. No you say! Never you cry! Well we shall see.
The Seers just rolled some dice; it’s a draw. 1-1.
[FLN] S7, W2 Heralds of Change v Lancashire Lovebombs
To be played by next Monday.
The Lovebombs were stunned last week as they surprisingly fell to Dragonback in a thrilling game. However they emerged relatively unscathed and Jennifer Morgue will be looking to exploit the Herald’s traditional lack of interest in the ball and provide the Wood Elves with a much needed jump-start. Ganymede may look a little fragile these days but he can steal or recover the ball under the most intense pressure; whilst Fuller Memorandum will be eager to add to his opening day double against a team that traditionally leaks scores against agile opposition.
Malagant the Merciful has stated that Fearsum Enjinn’s days will come to a shuddering “timber” end in this match as he intends to slice his roots up, cook them, and feed the to the orphans at the “Save a Treeman” charity home for Treeman Orphans. Following the vicious beatdown handed out last week, the Heralds will be looking to overwhelm the Lovebombs. However, the experienced Lovebombs are a world apart from a team of rookie Necromantics; and it is vital the Changer of Ways’ special ones protect the ball whilst dealing out the pain.
[FLN] S7, W2 Hectors Heroes v Dragonback
To be played by next Monday.
Following on from their amazing week 1 win, Dragonback will be eyeing this match up with greedy beady glassy and slightly dumb goat eyes. Klentock Twohoofs’ star is on the rise, hence his appearance on the Hit List, and in Rammage and Carnage, Dragonback have two fast Goats who can turn the corner and hunt down the ball carrier. The Warriors are still developing but until they meet the Heralds or Fiends, there are no teams in the division that will want to tangle with them; least of all the vulnerable Heroes….then again…
Hector’s Heroes are insane. This insanity is best illustrated by their refusal to wear anything more than the barest of armour coupled with their refusal to duck a fight and willingness to square up to the meanest opposition. Dalkrvor was seen head-butting polar bears in preparation for this game, and the death of Boritson left his self-proclaimed blood-brother, Agnibrandr, enraged and eager to bring some pain. With Eiliffiar’s hip-swivel, high-step, and shoulder barge making him incredibly difficult to stop it may be only attrition will prevent the Norse escaping with a win.
The Seers tasted the yellow snow, which indicated a tight 2-1 win for…..the Heroes.
[FLN] S7, W2 Mousillion Vultures v Crimson Eclipse
To be played by next Monday.
The Vultures once again struggled to hold onto the ball or bring sufficient pain against a flair team meaning the eventual score flattered them. However their squad is unscathed and they’ll be hoping the fresh-furred Eclipse find it harder to dodge and run from their rotting cadaverous grasp. With Jean Claude Van Damned terrified of being overshadowed by the newly buff P’Elvis he will be desperate to find the endzone and ensure the cameras are on him. Le Grande Papa must assert himself in these games as his annoyingly regular ability to end up on his bandaged backside is causing the Vultures no end of problems.
The Eclipse held on against the Fiends; or should we say Tabasco held on for them whilst the rest of the team held on to their lives. They’ll be expecting, rightly so, a much less violent game against the Undead. Tabasco has been rooting around in bins this week, declaring there is no point in training as there isn’t a player on the Vultures squad who can touch him. He is right. And even if the Vultures do, somehow, stop the unstoppable; they have to then stop the unstoppable 2, the return – Thread – another gutterrunner who can score before the Ref has even put his whistle in his pocket. However, if the Eclipse do lose their star runners; it will be interesting to see what other tactics they have…..if any….
The Seers rooted through the warp sewage which foretold a 3-1 Eclipse win.