Post by sybaris on Sept 15, 2016 17:58:32 GMT
Just posting these up for archiving purpose.
When match ups are determined, learning you’re about to play against goblins probably means you have a good chance at winning, and getting quite a few casualties in the process. Everyone loves goblins, coaches, players…everyone, except goblins themselves who are mean, spiteful backstabing gits…and their coach.
You can hate them for sucking, or love them for the fun they bring to Blood Bowl. Yet there’s always a second thought coming in the head of their opponents that make them squint suspiciously : will you survive the match unscathed or pay a bloody price from the insane shenanigans they can pull off. Goblins define the crazy aspect of Blood Bowl, far more so than any other team.
Truth to be told, this is a 3rd tier team through and through. There’s no escaping that fact and the sooner you accept to bottom your divisions every single season the better it is for your sanity. Okay, that’s the big bad news, but you knew this just by eyeing the roster to begin with.
Players
Goblins :
To call them linemen would be too much of a nice word for these sorry pieces of shit. They are basically safeties with a sideline of a catcher mixed in. With an average move of 6, they are the fastest « right stuff » player you can field. A strenght of 2 means they require to team up to push the lowliest opponent, and an armor of 7 with the stunty trait will have them leave in pieces often. They are very cheap, and can squeeze almost anywhere with unmodified dodge rolls. Their favorite action is to foul…gang foul to be precise. You need to have many in reserve to replace the special weapons and wounded players over a match. As you can guess, these guys melt to tackle and mighty blow. Keep sneaking off to advantageous positions in order to assist blocks, blitzes or fouls. They are not great with the ball…so it might be a pain to get it where you want.
Goblins who gain skills are few but with MVPs it is bound to happen. With solely agility access on normal rolls, things like Sidestep, Diving Tackle, Sneaky Git and Catch come to mind. Remember that a goblin with 2 skills is worth 2 goblins on your roster, and no goblin is ever going to be a star unless they roll stat advances or doubles. If this happens, then you may have a key player in the making. +AG and +MA is good, but +ST is subject to debate (given the value) while +AV is…well, often disregarded in favor of MA. That’s not to say that an AV 8 goblin is a bad idea! Doubles can be used for Block, Sure Hands or Guard. Dirty Player also goes hand-in-hand with the goblin tactics of heavy fouling.
Trolls :
The goblin team big guys are huge Trolls, and they complete the package of exemplar unreliability through their stupidity. Not only will they loose their tackle zone during a turn, but they’re also the worst « player thrower » of the game (best being treemen) since they can EAT the frigging goblin. That’s not to stop goblins from using trolls on the line anyway, in fact, if you are to have any chance of doing something violent, the trolls are mandatory. They do hurt, too…when they manage to succeed on a block. Unlike goblins, Trolls are exceedingly tough. In fact, they are actually the toughest player in blood bowl. The combination of regeneration and an apothecary is, along with the vampires, almost unique, especially considering they are ST5 and AV9.
So they are your basic blockers, and your goblins will benefit from their presence whenever these guys remember what they are doing. Be careful, however, that the opponent will try to push your goblins away from the trolls; always bring a goblin to keep them from going stupid. There is also nothing wrong with using goblins as ammunition to aim at a cage, too. It’s risky and less cost-effective than with snotlings, but goblins are much more survivable than snotlings, if that’s any comfort.
Advances are cherished. Guard is the obvious skill for starters, as it can help goblins to actually make some blocks, but mostly it is there to protect the little fellow. Grab, Break Tackle, Stand Firm and Strong Arm are decent second skills depending on your style and preference. I would argue against Piling On due to the risk of stupidity kicking in on the next turn, leaving the already slow troll on his butt for another turn. You need these guys up. Doubles should immediately go to Block or Pro imho. Pro is often overlooked but it can save you from stupidity without risking a Loner check with team re-rolls. It can also reduce the failures when blocking and throwing goblins. If you find yourself blitzing often with your trolls, then juggernaut is an interesting option. The only stat to care for is strenght (and you’ll still be thorn since it is also a double).
Pogoer:
This is your only good player on the pitch. He goes fast and can jump over bad situations. He’ll be scoring more TD than almost any other player, too, so epect to have him gain a skill. Like normal goblins he can provide assists when least expected, and with leap can actually cause some drama for the other team. Sure feet and Sidestep are well worth the investment. Doubles are usually a choice between Block or Sure Hands. The pogo is not an illegal equipment so you can count on him to be there until injured…which is going to happen often anyway. Your opponent will try to get rid of this guy due to his tactical ability to go wherever he wants.
Looney :
Probably the most dangerous goblin in the game, and certainly one of the most dangerous player as well, especially to himself. He’s also the only player to access to the item without being induced in. Chainsaws are what make Blood Bowl the bloodiest sport there is since the first edition of the game, and everyone is afraid of it. Now using him requires some finess, ironically. You can’t throw him at everything he sees, because odds are he will last you 1-2 turns. He is specialized in taking out AV 7 high value players. The wood elf wardancer is the most prized catch, but so are gutter runners. The efficiency of the chainsaw decreases drastically vs highly armored players like orcs or dwarves. This is a psychological weapon, as it can force the opponent to deploy and play depending on where the chainsaw is. While blitzing or blocking is a risky possibility, fouling is the Looney’s speciality. The +3 going into the foul in addition to assists make it a very popular way of showing love to your opponent. It’s basically an instant injury roll.
It’s also a tradition to foul on the turn before a drive ends, or if you know a TD will be scored. He’s going out of the game anyway, so why not. While not frequent, he can advance through MVP. Dodge is a priority to increase survivability (it also gives you a benefit from being stunty). Doubles should go to Block. I wouldn’t go for any stat advance on this guy. It is worth of mentioning that Looneys are better on the offense, because on the defence they run the risk of being « sniped » by the opposing team’s blitz. In fact, they are such easy victims and such high threat, that some players will even go alone in the middle of your team in order to get this guy down.
Fanatic :
An interesting player to say the least. ST7 is very rare, only found in the form of the dwarven death roller. While definitely not as reliable as the bearded illegal tool, the Fanatic is one hell of a goblin. He is far more useful on offense otherwise the opponent will just not place anyone close to him, denying precious blocks that could flatten big guys. He will often swing around uselessly, but he is actually somewhat more reliable than trolls and complete your line of scrimmage with them. No goblin team in its right mind would start without one, and while he can have a short career, it can be bloody.
Be very wary of « stabbing » players, who might KO him right away without having to block. He is mainly useful at the beginning of a drive, because afterward people tend to get away from him and he never catch them up. Skill ups should be Mighty Blow first and second should be guard. Doubles would be Block, Pro and Sure Feet, while the only stat to look for is primarily MA. He’s one of the few players that should always take a skill instead of +ST.
Bombardier :
This guy is the most random and unpredictable goblin in the game. No one knows what he will do and that’s probably what make them so fun to begin with. Obviously, he’s still a goblin and he’s expendible, so foul, assist or assist a foul with the git if it’s the better course of action, he’ll be off to the dungeons soon anyway. Since he must either move or throw a bomb, he is best used in a defensive drive, as the enemy will move toward him. In his rookie form, the guy is more of a threat than anything.
With high risk of fumbling anything other than a quick pass, make sure your other goblins are far from the potential bomb blowing the bombardier. Do not throw the ball in a square occupied by elves (especially catchers and throwers) they can then throw back the bomb with far more skill than you can ever dream of. Speaking of skills, the bombardier can really benefit from them. Hail Mary Pass is the best first skill as it transforms your shitty grenadier into a heavy mortar. Just put him in your back field and rain bombs on everything (yes even your own if it means a shot at a Wardancer, for example. For a double i’d go with Block, but you could go for Strong Arm too. There’s no stats needed for this guy.
Starting Rosters :
Starting rosters vary from a goblin coach to another, but typically, 2 trolls, a pogoer, a Looney and Fanatic is the base to go with. Some people love the bombardier (and he is cheap) but he’s not an auto-include if you don’t have a replacement for him. That’s something important; keep in mind you need to have spare goblins to replace each illegal weapons as they are sent off. That’s not even counting casualties. Furthermore, some coaches keep a 50k spare at the start for a bribe. Bribes are cheap and certainly helps to make the team more dangerous. The most obvious illegal weapon to keep is the Looney, but the fanatic is a close second if, due to numbers, you had to field him on defense and he did squat.
If you have a young kid that is interested in blood bowl, this is a great team to showcase as it is bound to make them laugh with their ridiculous failures. This being said, they are an unusual team in every way…so they are not the best point of entry into the game, in fact, they can be excruciatingly frustrating to coach if someone is slightly competitive. Do not expect anything of any match with goblins. Elves are known to, occasionally, have a bad day , but goblins have gone further and trademarked it. You have no idea what is a BAD DAY™ in Blood Bowl if you haven’t coached tier 3 teams (Halflings, Ogres, Goblins and to an extent, Vampires) and goblins are the most unreliable of the lot.
I remember a game where i coached ogres vs a goblin team and scored 11 casualties, including a dead Troll. His team was toast, but we were still having fun even if there was only ogres left standing end of the 12 turn (try a chainsaw on snotlings, it’s delicious). By the way i didn’t even win that match, because the ogres never got past their bone head to get the ball to the end zone, go figure.
So buckle up and keep a fair amount of humor (beer) nearby. I am dead serious, this team is better suited to play with a beer, and with a vocal opponent at the end of the table, in order to share the experience and have real fun with it.
And to conclude this round up, this is for the opposing coaches of goblins online : your local goblin coach is there for fun…really, and sometimes he gets a BAD DAY ™ when playing with you, but you can do your part and help him have fun with the gits, just as it would be on a tabletop game – the chat is there for that. Goblin coaches love to see players die, even their own.
When match ups are determined, learning you’re about to play against goblins probably means you have a good chance at winning, and getting quite a few casualties in the process. Everyone loves goblins, coaches, players…everyone, except goblins themselves who are mean, spiteful backstabing gits…and their coach.
You can hate them for sucking, or love them for the fun they bring to Blood Bowl. Yet there’s always a second thought coming in the head of their opponents that make them squint suspiciously : will you survive the match unscathed or pay a bloody price from the insane shenanigans they can pull off. Goblins define the crazy aspect of Blood Bowl, far more so than any other team.
Truth to be told, this is a 3rd tier team through and through. There’s no escaping that fact and the sooner you accept to bottom your divisions every single season the better it is for your sanity. Okay, that’s the big bad news, but you knew this just by eyeing the roster to begin with.
Players
Goblins :
To call them linemen would be too much of a nice word for these sorry pieces of shit. They are basically safeties with a sideline of a catcher mixed in. With an average move of 6, they are the fastest « right stuff » player you can field. A strenght of 2 means they require to team up to push the lowliest opponent, and an armor of 7 with the stunty trait will have them leave in pieces often. They are very cheap, and can squeeze almost anywhere with unmodified dodge rolls. Their favorite action is to foul…gang foul to be precise. You need to have many in reserve to replace the special weapons and wounded players over a match. As you can guess, these guys melt to tackle and mighty blow. Keep sneaking off to advantageous positions in order to assist blocks, blitzes or fouls. They are not great with the ball…so it might be a pain to get it where you want.
Goblins who gain skills are few but with MVPs it is bound to happen. With solely agility access on normal rolls, things like Sidestep, Diving Tackle, Sneaky Git and Catch come to mind. Remember that a goblin with 2 skills is worth 2 goblins on your roster, and no goblin is ever going to be a star unless they roll stat advances or doubles. If this happens, then you may have a key player in the making. +AG and +MA is good, but +ST is subject to debate (given the value) while +AV is…well, often disregarded in favor of MA. That’s not to say that an AV 8 goblin is a bad idea! Doubles can be used for Block, Sure Hands or Guard. Dirty Player also goes hand-in-hand with the goblin tactics of heavy fouling.
Trolls :
The goblin team big guys are huge Trolls, and they complete the package of exemplar unreliability through their stupidity. Not only will they loose their tackle zone during a turn, but they’re also the worst « player thrower » of the game (best being treemen) since they can EAT the frigging goblin. That’s not to stop goblins from using trolls on the line anyway, in fact, if you are to have any chance of doing something violent, the trolls are mandatory. They do hurt, too…when they manage to succeed on a block. Unlike goblins, Trolls are exceedingly tough. In fact, they are actually the toughest player in blood bowl. The combination of regeneration and an apothecary is, along with the vampires, almost unique, especially considering they are ST5 and AV9.
So they are your basic blockers, and your goblins will benefit from their presence whenever these guys remember what they are doing. Be careful, however, that the opponent will try to push your goblins away from the trolls; always bring a goblin to keep them from going stupid. There is also nothing wrong with using goblins as ammunition to aim at a cage, too. It’s risky and less cost-effective than with snotlings, but goblins are much more survivable than snotlings, if that’s any comfort.
Advances are cherished. Guard is the obvious skill for starters, as it can help goblins to actually make some blocks, but mostly it is there to protect the little fellow. Grab, Break Tackle, Stand Firm and Strong Arm are decent second skills depending on your style and preference. I would argue against Piling On due to the risk of stupidity kicking in on the next turn, leaving the already slow troll on his butt for another turn. You need these guys up. Doubles should immediately go to Block or Pro imho. Pro is often overlooked but it can save you from stupidity without risking a Loner check with team re-rolls. It can also reduce the failures when blocking and throwing goblins. If you find yourself blitzing often with your trolls, then juggernaut is an interesting option. The only stat to care for is strenght (and you’ll still be thorn since it is also a double).
Pogoer:
This is your only good player on the pitch. He goes fast and can jump over bad situations. He’ll be scoring more TD than almost any other player, too, so epect to have him gain a skill. Like normal goblins he can provide assists when least expected, and with leap can actually cause some drama for the other team. Sure feet and Sidestep are well worth the investment. Doubles are usually a choice between Block or Sure Hands. The pogo is not an illegal equipment so you can count on him to be there until injured…which is going to happen often anyway. Your opponent will try to get rid of this guy due to his tactical ability to go wherever he wants.
Looney :
Probably the most dangerous goblin in the game, and certainly one of the most dangerous player as well, especially to himself. He’s also the only player to access to the item without being induced in. Chainsaws are what make Blood Bowl the bloodiest sport there is since the first edition of the game, and everyone is afraid of it. Now using him requires some finess, ironically. You can’t throw him at everything he sees, because odds are he will last you 1-2 turns. He is specialized in taking out AV 7 high value players. The wood elf wardancer is the most prized catch, but so are gutter runners. The efficiency of the chainsaw decreases drastically vs highly armored players like orcs or dwarves. This is a psychological weapon, as it can force the opponent to deploy and play depending on where the chainsaw is. While blitzing or blocking is a risky possibility, fouling is the Looney’s speciality. The +3 going into the foul in addition to assists make it a very popular way of showing love to your opponent. It’s basically an instant injury roll.
It’s also a tradition to foul on the turn before a drive ends, or if you know a TD will be scored. He’s going out of the game anyway, so why not. While not frequent, he can advance through MVP. Dodge is a priority to increase survivability (it also gives you a benefit from being stunty). Doubles should go to Block. I wouldn’t go for any stat advance on this guy. It is worth of mentioning that Looneys are better on the offense, because on the defence they run the risk of being « sniped » by the opposing team’s blitz. In fact, they are such easy victims and such high threat, that some players will even go alone in the middle of your team in order to get this guy down.
Fanatic :
An interesting player to say the least. ST7 is very rare, only found in the form of the dwarven death roller. While definitely not as reliable as the bearded illegal tool, the Fanatic is one hell of a goblin. He is far more useful on offense otherwise the opponent will just not place anyone close to him, denying precious blocks that could flatten big guys. He will often swing around uselessly, but he is actually somewhat more reliable than trolls and complete your line of scrimmage with them. No goblin team in its right mind would start without one, and while he can have a short career, it can be bloody.
Be very wary of « stabbing » players, who might KO him right away without having to block. He is mainly useful at the beginning of a drive, because afterward people tend to get away from him and he never catch them up. Skill ups should be Mighty Blow first and second should be guard. Doubles would be Block, Pro and Sure Feet, while the only stat to look for is primarily MA. He’s one of the few players that should always take a skill instead of +ST.
Bombardier :
This guy is the most random and unpredictable goblin in the game. No one knows what he will do and that’s probably what make them so fun to begin with. Obviously, he’s still a goblin and he’s expendible, so foul, assist or assist a foul with the git if it’s the better course of action, he’ll be off to the dungeons soon anyway. Since he must either move or throw a bomb, he is best used in a defensive drive, as the enemy will move toward him. In his rookie form, the guy is more of a threat than anything.
With high risk of fumbling anything other than a quick pass, make sure your other goblins are far from the potential bomb blowing the bombardier. Do not throw the ball in a square occupied by elves (especially catchers and throwers) they can then throw back the bomb with far more skill than you can ever dream of. Speaking of skills, the bombardier can really benefit from them. Hail Mary Pass is the best first skill as it transforms your shitty grenadier into a heavy mortar. Just put him in your back field and rain bombs on everything (yes even your own if it means a shot at a Wardancer, for example. For a double i’d go with Block, but you could go for Strong Arm too. There’s no stats needed for this guy.
Starting Rosters :
Starting rosters vary from a goblin coach to another, but typically, 2 trolls, a pogoer, a Looney and Fanatic is the base to go with. Some people love the bombardier (and he is cheap) but he’s not an auto-include if you don’t have a replacement for him. That’s something important; keep in mind you need to have spare goblins to replace each illegal weapons as they are sent off. That’s not even counting casualties. Furthermore, some coaches keep a 50k spare at the start for a bribe. Bribes are cheap and certainly helps to make the team more dangerous. The most obvious illegal weapon to keep is the Looney, but the fanatic is a close second if, due to numbers, you had to field him on defense and he did squat.
If you have a young kid that is interested in blood bowl, this is a great team to showcase as it is bound to make them laugh with their ridiculous failures. This being said, they are an unusual team in every way…so they are not the best point of entry into the game, in fact, they can be excruciatingly frustrating to coach if someone is slightly competitive. Do not expect anything of any match with goblins. Elves are known to, occasionally, have a bad day , but goblins have gone further and trademarked it. You have no idea what is a BAD DAY™ in Blood Bowl if you haven’t coached tier 3 teams (Halflings, Ogres, Goblins and to an extent, Vampires) and goblins are the most unreliable of the lot.
I remember a game where i coached ogres vs a goblin team and scored 11 casualties, including a dead Troll. His team was toast, but we were still having fun even if there was only ogres left standing end of the 12 turn (try a chainsaw on snotlings, it’s delicious). By the way i didn’t even win that match, because the ogres never got past their bone head to get the ball to the end zone, go figure.
So buckle up and keep a fair amount of humor (beer) nearby. I am dead serious, this team is better suited to play with a beer, and with a vocal opponent at the end of the table, in order to share the experience and have real fun with it.
And to conclude this round up, this is for the opposing coaches of goblins online : your local goblin coach is there for fun…really, and sometimes he gets a BAD DAY ™ when playing with you, but you can do your part and help him have fun with the gits, just as it would be on a tabletop game – the chat is there for that. Goblin coaches love to see players die, even their own.